Opinion: My Thoughts About The Sussexes’ Decision to Step Back

By Kip Zane 21 Comments

First of all decisions like these are not made in haste. Nor are they made easily. For nearly 4 years now, Prince Harry has seen the woman he chose to make his Princess and consort treated like a pariah. Numerous social media accounts have been formed by account owners who use derisive handles that are nasty alterations of the Duchess’ name. They are too disgusting and numerous to mention. Imagine Prince Harry seeing, reading and hearing these insults about the woman he not only loves but who is now the mother of his child.

Harry knows what it was like to grow up with a mother who was picked apart in the press, and he suffered through bullying in school with embarrassing headlines about both parents. He and Meghan have simply had enough and frankly, Archie will one day hopefully be relieved of some of the heartache Harry had to suffer.

There is one commentator who has been particularly egregious in his relentless and obsessive insulting harassment of Princess Meghan. He will not be named. Today, he smugly “rested his case” on his assertion that “Meghan ditched her family, friends and now has convinced Harry to ditch the royal family”. How misguided and how sad. I’m going to share some of my own story here, since it colors my opinions.

I married my high school sweetheart. We were married 12 years. It was a very abusive relationship. He beat me, threw me down and, would regularly take my head and slam it over and over again on the floor. I was scared my skull would fracture! He was always very careful not to leave visible marks. He was in the Army and the abuse reached its pinnacle while we were stationed in Heidelberg, Germany. The one time I reported him, it hurt the family finances because he was demoted a rank, which affected his pay check. I eventually made the decision to take our two children and leave. Having said that, leaving an abusive situation is never easy. I had to leave all my friends, my church, my job and most of my possessions. I came back to America with about $500 in cash and two small children. “Ditching people” is such a dismissive way of describing decisions that are gut-wrenching and only made as a matter of personal survival.




We have all seen the reasons Princess Meghan has been accused of “ditching” her paternal relatives. Who in the world would willingly allow themselves to be exploited, while also being emotionally and mentally battered? The “I rest my case” nonsense is such a misogynistic statement of victim shaming. I for one, am so proud of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, for setting the example of taking charge of one’s own life. What wonderful examples of personal strength and boundaries they are setting!

Meghan has spoken about her own tenacity in reaching for her dreams. She went to auditions and crawled into the boot of her car because the doors wouldn’t work. She proved that she is not and never has been afraid of hard work.

At some point though, it had to be more than a little exasperating to be treated like a called a “gold digger” by her detractors, because of the comparatively small amount of money spent to renovate the decrepit Frogmore Cottage. They have held over her head like the sword of Damocles whenever she and Harry made decisions about their relationship with the media. Finally, the two of them said enough is enough. I particularly love the fact that they said they would work toward financial independence.

By earning their own money and paying their way, they can be unshackled from the albatross of abuse ensconced in the constant tax-payer funded gripes, that are disparately leveled at them. They can now be free to focus on their work with some meaningful level of control. I am sure they will prosper on their new path and have the necessary security. In the meanwhile, I say to Prince Harry and Princess Meghan, way to CHECKMATE! Good decision! It must not have been an easy one, but it was the right one for you.

In the “fog of war” even more abuse, accusations and spin are being thrown around. When the dust settles however, my sense is that the monarchy will have wounds to show. What is certain is that this new level of control will definitely take a chunk of change from the pockets of the unscrupulous members of the royal press pack. With that, I REST MY CASE.

Spread some Duchess of Sussex facts

21 comments on “Opinion: My Thoughts About The Sussexes’ Decision to Step Back

  1. Susan Benjamin

    I heard an English woman on LBC Radio, a British talk radio station, say the Duchesswas treated very well but what angered the public is when she started sacking her staff and that British people don’t like that. She confirmed having read this news in one of the tabloids. She went on to say that Duchess Meghan has some hold over their adorable Prince. It’s comments and beliefs from people like this woman, who sounded like someone of a mature age that really baffles me. The tabloids know that their readers are not discerning so they feed them daily on trash. Unless the monarch gets off her throne and defends Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan, or the media shift their focus back on paedophile enabler Andrew, Brits will continue believing in nonsense fed to them

    Reply
  2. Rose

    In the wake of the Sussexes leaving, so-called legitimate media has taken to using the word “Megxit”. What could be more racist than that word that has been circulating in the annals of all the racist trolls and is indeed their invention. I have been horrified to see it used on American and Canadian Media by the likes of Michael Strahan, ET and many many others.

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    1. Sarah Schneider

      It’s likely writers working for British tabloids created that term and it was later picked up by racist trolls.

      Reply
  3. Rose

    I don’t understand the demand for their titles to be taken away. It is Harry’s birthright, it is not like he was knighted, which is a given title and could presumably be taken away.
    Nobody demanded Andrew’s title be taken away, even though he who shall not be named says he was fired. So somebody gets fired and nobody demands a change in their status, but somebody steps back and they should be stripped of their title?
    This is just another example of bias.

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    1. Kim

      The Rota (British press) is super angry. Certain media outlets have exclusive rights to cover the Sussexes as senior royals. It’s called the Royal Rota system. Four out of seven are tabloids. As senior royals, they are required to invite the Rota to public events, give the Rota exclusive access while they are on tour, and give the Rota pictures prior to or simultaneously of public release. The Rota then shares its stories and pictures with publications that are not part of the Rota. Most of the Rota has used their access to the Sussexes to spread lies and bully Meghan. Since non-Rota publications get their stories from the Rota, the lies and bullying spread.
      Now that the Sussexes are no longer senior royals, they are refusing to participate in the Rota. They are going to give access to publications and journalists who have shown themselves to be fair and honest in their reporting and share their pictures on their social media. This means that the Rota will have to get its information second and third hand. The Sussexes have effectively cut off a huge source of income to the tabloids, which is why they are having conniption fits, making up lies, and calling for the Sussexes titles to be stripped.
      The only one who can strip them of their titles is The Queen and she will never do that.

      Reply
  4. Gladys

    Yes indeed it was the Brit Press & a certain Royal court, what amuses is that, it would be another story for these people who are foaming around the mouth because the couple has decided to say enough is enough with the abuse, for these same people & the trolls would be filled with glee, happiness & contentment if the Sussexes were demoted or expelled.

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  5. Kim Wall

    Princess Madeline of Sweden did the same thing Prince Harry is doing. The Swedish Royal family is much more mature and handled it without it turning into a reality show. Though, one thing Princess Madeline didn’t have is a petty, game playing older brother who leaked information to the tabloids.

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  6. Joyce

    Thank you very much Irene for your very detailed response to Marcy. This is the problem, why is it that people don’t sit back and read between the line and see what is before them. Harry will never disrespect his grandmother, the spin from the courtiers has been breath taking. Marcy should go and listen or read what Tom Bradby said, the palace knew everything and discussions have been going on. He was asked to put it in writing which he refused for fear it will leak but they insisted it has to be in writing and as usual it did leak as suspected because the SUN was going to run the story, he had no choice but to go ahead. He kept to his own side of the bargain but the other side did not but now they have gone spin it to make the Sussexes look bad.
    The story has since changed, you don’t want them but at the same time you want to derail their plans. I think we all need to take a step back and be objective,not to believe the media who has created all this nonsense. Why is it that all the blame is always directed at the Sussexes? It takes two to tangle, they want to dent their image and destroy them at all cost and people are buying into the narrative.
    Furthermore, the SUN had already given out a preview on their front page before Harry went on his IG account.

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    1. Marcy

      This is what I so enjoy about Meghanpedia. Intelligent people engage in a civil discourse to educate, console, question and just personally comment about Sussex goings on. I appreciate all the information shared with me regarding my comments. Obviously, I have been unable to keep up with the fast pace of the revelations regarding the responses to the Duke and Duchess plans. It is my hope, and I trust that of others, that there will be solid and transparent information regarding the future of Meghan and Harry as soon as possible.

      Reply
  7. Marcy

    I couldn’t agree more that Meghan endured an obscene amount of crap from people who barely peg a notch above a cretin. And Harry has never tried to hide his desire for a more common and less stressful life. Both very valid reasons for them to decide to go it alone. But, here is my angst regarding the entire thing. I truly believe that they could have departed from their senior role in a much more dignified and honorable method. I am afraid that by their hasty actions, they will incur the ill will of a lot of people – some of whom they just might need going forward. You can’t just blow off an entire country and the protocols of a 1000 year old monarchy because you don’t feel appreciated! Life does not work that way. Maintain the goodwill you have nurtured and help it grow by being the bigger player in this sad, sad drama. Empowered people do not quit and leave.

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    1. Irene Silverstone

      *This response is not personal to Marcy, but is a great springboard to tackle some misconceptions.
      The facts of the announcement remain as follows:
      1. They will continue to carry out engagements in support of the Queen,commonwealth and their patronages. Current work remains the same.
      2. They want to spend part of their time in UK and part in Canada, a commonwealth country.
      3. They want to release themselves of the financial tie to public money via sovereign grant, by becoming financially independent. The sovereign grant currently contributes only 5% of their official office expense, the remaining 95% from Prince of Wales’ Duchy of Cornwall. This financial piece allows them to be able to take on new charitable projects that would otherwise be a conflict for a senior royal. Also, the British people don’t have to worry about “paying for them”. We’ve hear quite a bit about this. disproportionately, I might add.

      It is worth noting that this decision wasn’t made on the spur of the moment.You only have to look at the already fully functioning website and upcoming launch of SussexRoyal foundation to know that. A big part of why the royal foundation split, was that the 2 couples had different approaches to their work, which was a source of conflict. While the media abuse they have endured partly informs their quest for a new approach, as a whole it is more about forging a sustainable working model for them long-term, as the crown seeks a slimmed down monarchy. If the slimmed down monarchy does not include them, then it should be welcome news that they don’t want to continue to collect public money.

      Regarding the timing, while it may seem sudden, it should be noted that their hand was forced in some way. Discussions were already going on behind the scenes and they would probably have preferred to to have their Is dotted and Ts crossed before announcing (as is their customary style of doing business). However, an entity within the palace who was privy to the discussions/negotiations leaked it to the SUN tabloid who carried the story on Wednesday. This, after they had specifically indicated their reluctance to put down their plans for fear of it being leaked.The same courtiers are reported to have prevented Harry from meeting with the Queen upon their return from Canada, after prior arrangements had been made. Its unclear if it was stalling tactic or whatever the motivation was. Harry may have felt they left him no options, especially since they leaked the plans anyway. Note that the story from the palace side has evolved quite a bit from being blindsided to The Queen telling Harry not to release the statement. You can’t not know about something and at the same time have said, that thing should not be released. Is they way it’s playing out publicly ideal,no. But at least now they are actively ironing out details. At some point the palace/courtiers have to take some responsibility for botching the transition instead of laying it squarely at The Sussexes’ feet through their media narrative. This time, they want to portray them as ungrateful, disrespectful to the queen. This just adds to a long stream of negative media narratives about this couple that have arisen from palace aids briefing against them.

      If there are any takeaways, they are that:
      A/ There is always more than meets the eye when it comes to reports about what the Sussexes “have done”. The facts are usually there to be found but unfortunately, the airy non-substantive and sensational stuff travel the fastest.
      B/ As an institution, that whole mode of operation where factions exist and courtiers manipulate media stories against other principals to benefit their court is really damaging.If they ARE the royal family because they are chosen or their bloodline is superior or whatever, then trying to minimize/sabotage/destroy their own members is antithetical to their premise. This may be a good opportunity for some internal reflection.

      Reply
      1. Gladys

        Thank you Irene Silverstone for a clear crystal analysis, thaugh i may think that not only Marcy but most people who have been quick as usual to condemn the Sussexes because of may be i may say they will no matter what, should go back & read the Sussex statement & then visit their website, but, as i say concerning the Sussexes people had already picked sides long before this which is sad as always to see.
        So people will always condemn even thaugh deep inside they know that they are being ridiculous & biased.

        Reply
        1. Marcy

          “Quick as usual”? “Ridiculous and biased”? I try not to paint people with such a broad stroke. Everyone has their own experiences that determine how they deal with life and view the actions of others.

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    2. Joyce B.

      While I respect the right of others to have an opinion; I found your opinion to be filled with ambiguity. You agree that “Meghan has endured an obscene amount of crap” but, you also seem to be saying that she should remain and continue to endure more of the same. You trivialize the depth of emotional pain this couple have experienced when you suggest they are leaving because they don’t feel appreciated.

      The basis for your opinions are built on the misguided assertion that they are leaving when they have clearly stated the opposite. Harry and Meghan are severing their ties with toxicity. They want to continue their work both in the U.K. and the Commonwealth. What they are no longer willing to accept is the constant venemous bashing via the so called Royal Reporters who continue to spin the negative narratives which have created the “ill will” you speak of.

      You went on to suggest the Sussexes are “blowing off an entire country and the protocols of a 1000 year old monarchy.” This is the same type of incendiary comment made frequently by the Royal Reporters in their ongoing campaign against the Sussexes (especially Meghan).

      If Harry and Meghan chose to leave, which they have not, who could blame them? If you refer to Mark 6:11 you will find that even Jesus would approve of their departure. Empowered people know when to quit and leave. Willingly subjecting yourself to abuse is not empowering: it’s self destructive.

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  8. Rose

    The Sussexes were not supported at all. It is bad enough when outside sources are battering you day in and day and when you can’t turn to your family for support, and I they are the cause of most of the nasty, then it’s time to change things.
    Harry also remembers how his mother was set adrift, and he is knot going the same thing happen to his wife.

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  9. Gladys

    Like as it was written in the previous article, it din’t have to be this way & i add it din’t have to come to this that is if the entitled Royal din’t feel that he had to shine above all because he is to be a king BUT anyway here we are & i do applaude the move & the decision the Sussexes have made yes it may be wasen’t easy but who can blame them & anyway it has to be the idiot abusers as they feel that they’re losing their punching bag,
    so,
    #wesupportharry& meghan
    #weloveyouharry,meghan&archie
    #standwiththesussexes

    Reply
  10. Airat Adekunle

    Good piece! The British press is fond of insinuating that the Royal Family is on their side:expressions such as ‘The family was not informed’,The Queen is upset’ or ‘No one is talking to Harry and Meghan ‘ always follow any form of reaction or resistance Harry and Meghan had expressed in order to stay sane…..for all we know,this might even be true,because no form of caution had come from the Palace to the press as they attacked Meghan for NOTHING!
    Now, the British royal reporters are claiming that the RF was not aware,but we recently learnt that they knew weeks before;asked Harry to put it in writing and leaked it;hence the need for Harry and Meghan to announce it ahead of the time they expected.
    This couple had been told to leave,to stop spending the ‘tax payers’ money’. They have taken the step to do all that,so why is the British press and the royal reporters bleeding profusely over this move?
    The Biracial,assertive Meghan(a threat to’Darling’ Kate) , a narcissist because she dared to step out to perform her royal duties is no more in the spotlight. She is not daring to take the tax payers’ money. She is not climbing any social entity,but setting out to continue to make her own money. LET HER BE!

    Reply

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