“My life has changed because my access has changed, and so has the level of privacy in my life, but these are champagne problems because I wouldn’t rather be back auditioning. And change can be really good – as long as your character is intact.” Then actress Meghan Markle
Meghan was 100% correct, ladies. It all comes down to Character, and also to keeping it REAL.
“I want you all to stay true to the most real, most sincere, most authentic parts of yourselves.” Michelle Obama’s advice to an audience of young women
And that can only happen with SELF LOVE.
Every negative trait which afflicts so many women all over the world from; low self-esteem, insecurity, jealousy, low self-confidence, lack of self-respect, attracting abusive or low character boyfriends or mates, eating disorders, low expectations for themselves, settling for much less than they deserve, and I could go on and on….
….stems from a lack of SELF LOVE.
There are many reasons for this. All individual to each woman and many of those reasons may stem from painful past experiences or even from childhood. But it’s something which must be addressed ladies, if you truly wish to live the happy, inspired, and worthy life that you were born to live.
Women have to see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting yourself up on a pedestal. How you authentically view and feel about yourself will either elevate or lower the view others will have of you.
Here is a great example of what truly loving and valuing yourself looks like from then actress, now Duchess Meghan:
Here is a great quote I stumbled upon from Meghan a while back:
“I’ve always coveted the Cartier French Tank watch. When I found out Suits had been picked up for our third season – which, at the time, felt like such a milestone – I totally splurged and bought the two-tone version. I had it engraved on the back, ‘To M.M. From M.M.’ and I plan to give it to my daughter one day.” Meghan Markle
A couple of things struck me about this quote from Meghan. Firstly, she wasn’t waiting around for some man to buy her the watch of her dreams. She deemed herself worthy and bought the Cartier watch for herself; as a personal reward for a career milestone- which I’m sure she worked very hard to achieve.
Not only that… Meghan had her watch engraved “To M.M. From M.M.” to commemorate this special gift to herself; the same way a lover would have done. That move speaks volumes about the love and appreciation Meghan has for herself.
The next thing which struck me is Meghan’s firm belief that she would one day have a daughter to pass the watch to, and acting as if this heartfelt desire was already pre-ordained for her.
And as we now know, it likely was:
CBS News – October 2018 – Prince Harry and Meghan, Duke and Duchess of Sussex, expecting their 1st baby
*Please don’t confuse authentic Self Love with the traits of selfishness, narcissism, conceit, or ego; because all of those traits are simply elaborate masks to cover up gross insecurity.
What I am referencing is having an authentic healthy love, reverence, and self-respect for YOURSELF.
Here are some serious questions you should ask yourself:
Do you believe you are WORTHY?
Do you VALUE yourself?
Do you LOVE yourself?
Do you believe you DESERVE the BEST that life has to offer?
Meghan Markle, Copyright: rightful owner of this image
The GOOD NEWS for YOU is: If the answer to any of these questions is NO; there is room for improvement. With daily focus YOU can CHANGE; but YOU must be willing to put in the work.
Finally I would like to share a letter which then actress Meghan Markle wrote to her followers of her former website The Tig on her 33rd birthday in 2014, two years before her whole life changed when she went on her blind date with Prince Harry.
Here is the content of then actress Meghan Markle’s illuminating 2014 letter to her The Tig followers:
“I am 33 years old today. And I am happy. And I say that so plainly because, well, it takes time. To be happy. To figure out how to be kind to yourself. To not just choose that happiness, but to feel it.
My 20s were brutal – a constant battle with myself, judging my weight, my style, my desire to be as cool/as hip/as smart/as “whatever” as everyone else. My teens were even worse – grappling with how to fit in, and what that even meant.
My high school had cliques; the black girls and white girls, the Filipino and the Latina girls. Being bi-racial, I fell somewhere in between. So everyday during lunch, I busied myself with meetings – French Club, student body, whatever I could possibly do between noon and 1 pm – I was there. Not so that I was more involved, but so that I wouldn’t have to eat alone.
I must have been 24 when a casting director looked at me during an audition and said “You need to know that you’re enough. Less makeup, more Meghan.” You need to know that you’re enough. A mantra that has now ingrained itself so deeply within me that not a day goes by without hearing it chime in my head.
That five pounds lost won’t make you happier, that more make up won’t make you prettier, that now iconic saying from Jerry Maguire – “You complete me” – frankly, isn’t true. You are complete with or without a partner. You are enough just as you are. So for my birthday, here’s what I would like as a gift. I want you to be kind to yourself. I want you to stop gossiping, to try a food that scares you, to buy a coffee for someone just because, to tell someone you love them….and then to tell yourself right back.
I want you to find your happiness. I did. And it’s never felt so good. I am enough. M.M.” (The Tig, 2014)
Image courtesy of Life & Beyond, Copyright: Righful owner
Meghan was happy then….and she’s even happier now.
Why? Because she finally learned she was enough; and in doing so she embraced and began to love her uniqueness.
Meghan stopped trying to fit in, stopped trying to be like everyone else, stopped judging herself.
She simply allowed herself to be MEGHAN, allowed herself to be her FULL self, allowed herself to LOVE and be kind to Meghan….
……and then the MAGIC followed.
And as that lovely 2014 letter which Meghan wrote on her 33rd birthday proves, Meghan’s life was happy before she met the man of her dreams.
In fact, this amazing linked video which features all of the Instagram pictures Meghan posted on her website, The Tig, proves Meghan’s life was not only happy, but downright EXTRAORDINARY, before she met Prince Harry.
It was the kind of life that you only give up if you are deeply in love, and know that your new life will be even better… because of that love.
“We hide our stories because we don’t think we’re good enough.” ~ Michelle Obama, (Becoming, Crown Publishing Group, Nov. 2018)
The moral to this story?
Please LOVE YOURSELF, please be KIND to yourself, please KNOW YOUR WORTH, please live your life to the FULLEST, and while doing all that…
…..please know that OR work on yourself daily to get to a place where you will eventually know…
…..that YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Once you do that and make it a daily habit or practice…
….you will strive to live your life at your HIGHEST POTENTIAL, just like The Duchess of Sussex, and former First Lady and record-breaking best-selling author Michelle Obama, and so many other highly exceptional and badass women do.
And just like Meghan was BLISSFIL long before she met Prince Harry on that fateful blind date, YOU too will eventually be HAPPY.
Photo by Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images
“If we treated ourselves as well as we treated our best friend, can you imagine?” Then actress Meghan Markle