The Grace She Exudes – Queens Are Made, Not Born

The Grace She Exudes - Queens Are Made, Not Born
Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage

Just what the blazes is going on here? I asked myself. What in the world I’m I seeing, reading or hearing about? Then, just how long will this go on?

These are a few of the questions I asked myself as I read and watched the British Media’s feeding frenzy of Meghan Markle, especially when she was pregnant. For the first time in my life, wading into and getting involved with someone’s media life was the only way to go. Silence was no longer an option.

I have never been one of those who ‘worshiped’ media stars or celebrities. I admired some aspect of their life. Could be their acting prowess, their singing ability or their entertainment value, but I never thought it was my place to defend them, speak for them or be a typical ‘fan’ in that fashion. In LA, ones see them at meals, shopping, walking around and you understand, to ignore them and let them live their lives. But all that changed with the sinister vitriol that was poured daily by the British Media, the gleeful tone of destruction by tabloids and the unapologetic hardness of the voices of Royal Reporters. The palpable, seeping hatred was just a bit too much to ignore. Surely no human being deserves all this craziness especially when all they have done is contribute? The mental destruction was brutal.

Another reason I didn’t think it was worth getting involved was because, I understood these newspapers to be the equivalent of tabloids like ‘The Enquirer’ in the US. But then, in the US, no self-respecting person, who valued themselves, would touch those sorts of the tabloids with a 10-foot pole. Why would a self-respecting establishment like The Royal Family even speak to them, and seems to be in bed with them? This point, I admit is still puzzling. Even more so, why does it look like, these tabloids seem to hold an axe over the Royal Family’s head? Is it all upside down and wrong way up? Is the Royal Family being held hostage by the tabloids? Do the tabloid moguls OWN the Royal Family? If not, why would a tabloid be able to continue to batter a member of the Royal Family without recourse and with complete impunity. Frankly, it made no sense.




NOLLYWOOD WOULD SAY

To put this in context in some commonwealth terms. In a Nollywood movie, this would be the same as saying the village town crier (the messengers of the Royal Family), has the ability to tell any member of the Royal Family anything, much less, what they should be doing. It just NEVER HAPPENS. The Servant is never above the Owner of the House nor are they in any position capable of dictating any terms to them. They are certainly at no time, not above the children of the throne or even close to it. This would be considered a grievous insult, a disrespect to the Land, the Forefathers, the Throne and to the people of the Land.

THE HISTORY BOOKS

But I digress, this is supposed to be about how Prince Harry and especially Duchess Meghan inspires and how they will for ages to come. As she and Prince Harry walk their way into the world’s history books forever and for all time.

SUITS

Meghan Markle as an Actor on Suits, is how most Americans knew her. Jessica, Mike, Litt and Rachel (to use their acting name) were my personal “ish” on the show. Jessica for her ability to walk the fine line between tough B*tch and Mother of All. Mike for his brain, Rachel for her sass, loyalty and complicated relationships and Litt, very obviously for his social faux pas, but you knew, he always has his heart in the right place.

TO ROYALTY and INTERESTING DESCRIPTIONS

Then Meghan started dating Prince Harry and the world changed. Astonishingly, she was described in very ‘interesting terms’ to the American ears. Phrases like ‘straight outta Comptom’, “niggling feelings’, ‘wrong side of the tracks’, etc. This was really strange, because one has to really look into Meghan’s background to know she was mixed race – she looks rather Caucasian. Why mis-represent her and the city, she grew up in? Why these exact words and why would real journalists use such words and descriptions. It was telling that a real journalist would get such simple, easily checkable background information wrong. At which point, one has to just surmises that these journalists were deliberately being obtuse about her. It was awful. Prince Harry came out in her defense and one thought, this would blow over.

EYE ROLLS AT A WEDDING

The wedding was also very eye opening, despite the lovely and beautiful setup. The mood of the Royal Family in the church was frankly weird. The vibe was that they were there because they had to be and not because they were genuinely happy for their family member Prince Harry, who was getting married. There were, pursed lips, downcast eyes, disrespectful giggles, glances around, snickers and so on. Frankly, better behaviors have been observed in primary schools, by 6-year olds. Once again, as a spectator, it was very strange. I was frankly a bit embarrassed and shocked by some of the snickers, looks and faces being made. It seems both disrespectful and cringey, but surely…

CRUELTY

And then, it seemed, in no time at all, All HELL BROKE LOOSE. It was a constant, relentless, frightening, sinister coordinated attack from EVERYWHERE and EVERYONE, escalating during her pregnancy (where pregnant women all over the world have always being held sacred). Then she had a baby that was likened to a chimp and REALLY, that was it. It had become just a tad too much. The attack was continuous and ominous. Throughout her work that included Smart Works, Mayhew, Grenfell, wonderful tours on behalf of the country. The venom was relentless, continuously cruel and frightening. It was hard to understand. Yet other members of the Royal Family were accorded forgiveness, help and aid with the exact same media. It was all confusing.

HER GRACE.

But through it all, what really endeared Meghan to me was her strength in all of these. She was the complete personification of herself before royalty, no changes to her. This is one of the aspects that was enchanting about her and what continues to endear her to women and others until today. The grace she exhibited under such intense, relentless, mental health-destroying attacks was phenomenal. Besides this, are other attributes she exhibited long before she got into a relationship with Prince Harry and married him. Attributes such as:

Bravery: Meghan was very brave throughout this entire episode in her life. Seeing her out and about doing her work despite all the mess being exhibited around her, was simply amazing. I do not believe that we would have understood the pressure of what she was going through, if the tabloids themselves, in trying to destroy her, did not put everything out there in the public eye. Over-analyzing and scrutinizing every single smile, neck tie fold and unfold (another shameful saga), clothing, polish, stomach movement, etc. The British Media in putting all of these things out in the newspaper with all of their side glances, sly smiles, speculations, innuendoes and lies, invited the audience into the discussions and the inevitable comparisons that showed quite clearly the double standards displayed. Meghan the Brave herself, said nothing for a long time.

Respectful: Meghan was also always respectful of others and herself. It did not matter whom she was talking to, or what she was doing. Meghan dealt respectfully with everyone and it was very easy to see in the way she interacted with people, adults and children. Her vivaciousness, hugs and smiles were a palpable balm that could be felt even just watching her. There was a warmth to her and that is not fakeable.

Independence and Strength: Meghan came across as an independent and strong woman, who had a mind of her own. Watching her chatting and speaking at one of the earlier meetings with the 3 younger Royals at a Royal Foundation forum, I was very impressed with her ability to hold her own. Not that I expected her to be intimidated, I was just pleasantly surprised she still held on to herself at those early meetings. After all, she was an adult with a lot of experience who had a lot to give. The fact that I even thought she would lose herself is interesting and needs to be examined. Why would I think she would have to lose her voice with this marriage in the first place? It seems unconsciously, I understood that, this was an expectation. And there is something wrong with that!

Generosity of Spirit: Meghan’s generosity of spirit was very visible in how she worked with others. She has always had a heart for helping others. She did a lot of volunteer, life affirming and changing work before she joined the Royal Family. A look at her history confirms that. She just had a different platform now for doing what she always did. This was a given. She was always looking for ways to help. To us, on the outside looking in, it was a perfect match.

Intelligence and Hard work: When I read about her sending emails at 5:00h in the morning, I laughed and admired her immensely because I could relate to that. In real life, sometimes, the answer comes to you at just a weird time and you have to deal with it. But once again, it was blown out of proportion and made out to be this character flaw. It was no flaw for me. Lots of women work hard and understand this. I have sent emails at all hours of the day and night for work. It does not mean I expect a response then. I have laughed with colleagues over such. It was nothing to be shamed for. I actually wondered more about the Royal Family than Meghan. Really no one before her has ever done this???

Self Worth: Meghan did all she could to handle a very difficult situation as gracefully as possible. The amount of dreadful information depicted in the news was incredulous but she was grace personified under pressure. She recognized that she was enough, and didn’t have to morph into anyone’s ideal, in order to be accepted. A view to be admired.

…Then it was over

Grace and Self Confidence: There was nothing clearer about the grace and pride in herself than her final days as a working royal. She showed up in all her dazzling colors, head up high, a spring in her steps, a sparkle in her eyes and the amazing confidence that we had not seen in a while. She was a woman saying, “I gave it my all and have no regrets”. She said goodbye, the ONLY way possible. With dignity, grace, strength and a whole lotta self-pride. It was the only way to go and once again impressed the hell out of the world.




I feel the UK lost something big, but maybe in their eyes, they lost nothing, because as I understand it, only certain stars can shine in the UK and the amount of light emitted by each individually in the firm, has been calculated. From that perspective, it is good she and Prince Harry are thriving very well elsewhere. May they be highly blessed and may they live well.

She was not born a Princess, but she exhibited in so many ways, how a Princess should behave, in every way and in every circumstance, in her short time there.

In America, QUEENS ARE MADE, not born. In so doing, American Queens appreciate their own because they worked for everything they have and own. They are NOT IN ANY WAY BEHOLDEN TO ANYONE and MOST DEFINITELY not to the village town criers. They do not lose their voice.

In the show Hamilton, Aaron Burr sings in “The World Was Wide Enough” that there was room enough for him and Alexander Hamilton to survive, live and make a difference. Unfortunately, he understood that fact too late. I fear that was a mistake was made in this story as well, as often happens when we do not listen to our past.

A pity for one country, a glorious win for the world.

Welcome Home, Prince Harry, Duchess Meghan and Archie… WELCOME HOME!!!

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36 comments on “The Grace She Exudes – Queens Are Made, Not Born

  1. alicia

    This excellent article reminded me of the “elephant in the room” that after the tabloids hounded Harry and Meghan out of the UK, they have attacked the victims for leaving. Every day I see a post that they are disgraceful for leaving, they couldn’t handle being royal, they have let the royal family down, etc without ever mentioning the REASON Harry and Meghan left. One can only surmise that they were unprepared for a couple having the courage to leave their constant and unrelenting abuse.

    1. Darima

      Bravo Alicia, They are trying to say, battering members of the royal family for money is something they have always done and therefore they have done nothing wrong.
      But that is the bizarre thing with this whole situation.
      How is battering, mental anguish and psychologically destroying someone considered okay? Especially considering that the people doing the abusing are already billionaires. Why give these tabloid running billionaires such power over the royal family?
      That this is being accepted is wrong and the scary part is they do not see how wrong it is. They call it ‘getting on with things’ and ‘stiff upper lip’. NO! In English it is called battering and abusive behavior. There is nothing to be admired in all that. ‘Research has shown that battered syndrome and abuse can result in long-term health consequences that can last for decades.’ There is nothing in that to be admired.

    2. Vicki

      Amazing article. Very well written. Fact. The fact that the monarchy stood by and let the media and tabloids destroy her reputation, says to me that as long as William and Kate the future king and queen consort were protected, Harry the spare they no longer needed happiness was irrelevant. That is not family, it’s not love

  2. Nani Butcher

    At last someone with fact finding reporting…you do your article justice as well as your self, beautiful ❤️ it honesty. It maybe the time now for all Commonwealth countries to go Republic.

    1. Darima

      That is a thought. I have always wondered about the whole idea of the commonwealth. It seems to me nothing more than nostalgia of a great past for the UK. About 4 hours a year, there is a Church service, to commemorate the ‘stealing’, ‘hood-wicking’ and ‘taking advantaging of’, of one group of people by another. Graced this year, with drums, flags, etc. Other than that, Why is it? What does it do?

  3. Joyce

    Thank you, thank you, I can’t believe what I was seeing as well. Prince Harry knows what he has and they both compliment each other and he made a decision to take his family out and I salute him. The truth is that these two are just too much to handle hence the jealousy and much more the racism is just too glaring. The fact that the British media and the royal family have failed in their plans is now a headache. I wish the Sussexes God’s blessings and protection in their daily lives.

  4. Mformem Samson

    A true life story but it is an inspiration to millions of us and in the future generations,
    her true love and his as well will give them a better world for us all, long
    live H and M together with their handsome baby boy.

    1. Darima

      And that is the truth. This will reverberate well for the future and is a great message today for those in abusive relationship. No matter how golden or gilded the cage, if it is destructive within, it isn’t worth staying in.

  5. Mformem Samson

    A true life story but it is an inspiration to millions us and in the future
    her true love and his as well will give them a better world for us all, long
    live H and M together with their handsome baby boy.

  6. Helen Hawkins

    I love reading your articles cause they tell the truth and about time a true journalist says as she sees it – facts checked ✅✅✅ thank you 🙏🏼🙏🏽

    1. Darima

      Thanks Natasha, Ivy and Helen… At Meghanpedia, fact checking is a way of life. I have had to delete something that was not crosschecked first, but I posted and that is the way true journalism should be. Of course, we are not about destroying someone else to elevate ourselves. We are simple doing the noblest duty of us all. Simply doing humanity.

  7. Elizabeth Badu

    Once again beautifully written article, you’ve said it all there’s nothing more to add, am very emotional after reading this article merci.

  8. Connie Brussels

    Once again another master piece!!!!!!👍👍well done and I do agree to all about QUEEN MEGHAN a true QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Darima

      Thanks Elizabeth and Connie,

      True Queens do make us emotional and We ALWAYS and should STAN A TRUE, GREAT QUEEN.

  9. Liliana

    The description of the wedding, faces, attitudes and looks come to mind. Now I understand everything. Simulation in the royals, the genuine emotion in Doria and Harry, Meghan shone, her friends accompanied.

    1. Darima

      I really felt very uncomfortable watching some faces at that wedding. The backhand cringe. There was something definitely off.

  10. Marjorie Ireland

    Like her mother-in- law Diana, Princess of wales, HRH Duchess Rachel Meghan , Black Princess of the UK is “Someone with a natural nobility who is classless and who proved in the last year that she needs no royal title to continue to generate her particular brand of magic.” This was how Diana`s brother described her when he delivered the eulogy at her funeral. The words apply to Duchess Meghan too. Meghan is ROYAL! Meghan is a QUEEN who was not and will never be impressed by the UK “Royal Family” That is what, I believe, has made them Angry! She was not and will never be impressed by their Tiaras, old fashioned Jewels and their musty Palaces!! She did not and will never think that she was “Lucky” to marry into the UK “Royal Family” unlike the wife of her brother-in-law! Duchess Meghan married the love of her life who just happened to be a Prince!!! Loved your article, beautifully written, some home truths!!!!

    1. Darima

      I really do believe her mother-in-law Diana, would have loved her… That is tear jerking that she is not around anymore for this.

  11. Beverly

    WOW isn’t enough to be said. This piece is what real journalism should be and not what the British so-called papers write. Thank you for being so eloquent in your statement and saying what we all think about our smart, beautiful, confident, very well spoken caring, gracious, wonderful Duchess of Sussex
    Our Duke is a very lucky man (which I know he knows). Blessings to them and little Prince Archie

    1. Darima

      Agree Beverly, even if they had just done some negative and focused on her work at least 70 percent of the time. But 200% of the time printing rubbish, so not the way life should go.

  12. Gladys

    My god you’ve made me tear up, indeed she was graceful personfied with all the vitriol thrown her way by the bitter jealous & envious RF & the Brit Media she remained calm & carried on & that last day was sooo amazing & i say, i admire & chearing her on yes with her dear husband & son.

  13. Claire Charles

    Wonderful, intelligent comment, accurate commentary on a beautiful human being the British do not recognise goodness in others especially a woman of colour as very few of them posses the qualities which Meghan has. I wish Harry, herself and little Archie a life filled with joy and contentment.

  14. Evelyn Bell

    Brilliant, a wonderful celebration of a beautiful, charismatic, charming, aweinspiring young woman. My comment is my way of joining you and so many more of us in acknowledging the truth about Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex. It was and is a title she earned. However it is not the title we honor but the woman who it is bestowed upon.

    1. C.T.

      This is one of the best articles I’ve read in a long time. I’m truly mixed with emotions. I grieve for Meghan because of the needless hell and torment that The Royal Family & racist British tabloids put her through. Yet, I’m rejoicing that Meghan & Harry had the fortitude to say I’ve had enough and taking control of the lives by walking away!! I’m now shedding tears of joy for this couple! There’s nothing but greatness in store for Harry, Meghan & Archie!!!!

      1. Darima

        We STAN a great husband. Loving, wonderful, REAL MAN kind of husband, NEVER goes out of style. And Prince Harry has proven himself that, over and over and over again. He is literally the stuff of Disney Princes in real life.

    2. Darima

      Love that Everlyn… ‘…the woman who it is bestowed upon.’ and so never gets diminished no matter what. Because this is who she is, her essence.

  15. Nicole

    As someone said, what pisses these lunatics off is the fact that all the stunts, lies, propaganda, etc… didn’t stop Harry and Meghan from succeeding. All the miserable ones that sit on panels and sulk wish they had what Harry and Meghan have.

  16. rita Martin

    Lovely piece incompassing the whole gamit of Meghan’s experience in the UK their loss is the world’s gain now watch them soar.

    1. Darima

      Watching with you. I hope the impact is felt even more in the commonwealth. Meghan visiting now and then as the ‘sister’ she is, will resonate so much with the people esp the ladies emotionally. Besides lots of women in the commonwealth are hardworking, business owing, pulling themselves up by their slippers/stilettos/heels kind of ladies. They do resonate with Meghan on that level regardless of anything else.

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