Just what the blazes is going on here? I asked myself. What in the world I’m I seeing, reading or hearing about? Then, just how long will this go on?
These are a few of the questions I asked myself as I read and watched the British Media’s feeding frenzy of Meghan Markle, especially when she was pregnant. For the first time in my life, wading into and getting involved with someone’s media life was the only way to go. Silence was no longer an option.
I have never been one of those who ‘worshiped’ media stars or celebrities. I admired some aspect of their life. Could be their acting prowess, their singing ability or their entertainment value, but I never thought it was my place to defend them, speak for them or be a typical ‘fan’ in that fashion. In LA, ones see them at meals, shopping, walking around and you understand, to ignore them and let them live their lives. But all that changed with the sinister vitriol that was poured daily by the British Media, the gleeful tone of destruction by tabloids and the unapologetic hardness of the voices of Royal Reporters. The palpable, seeping hatred was just a bit too much to ignore. Surely no human being deserves all this craziness especially when all they have done is contribute? The mental destruction was brutal.
Another reason I didn’t think it was worth getting involved was because, I understood these newspapers to be the equivalent of tabloids like ‘The Enquirer’ in the US. But then, in the US, no self-respecting person, who valued themselves, would touch those sorts of the tabloids with a 10-foot pole. Why would a self-respecting establishment like The Royal Family even speak to them, and seems to be in bed with them? This point, I admit is still puzzling. Even more so, why does it look like, these tabloids seem to hold an axe over the Royal Family’s head? Is it all upside down and wrong way up? Is the Royal Family being held hostage by the tabloids? Do the tabloid moguls OWN the Royal Family? If not, why would a tabloid be able to continue to batter a member of the Royal Family without recourse and with complete impunity. Frankly, it made no sense.
NOLLYWOOD WOULD SAY
To put this in context in some commonwealth terms. In a Nollywood movie, this would be the same as saying the village town crier (the messengers of the Royal Family), has the ability to tell any member of the Royal Family anything, much less, what they should be doing. It just NEVER HAPPENS. The Servant is never above the Owner of the House nor are they in any position capable of dictating any terms to them. They are certainly at no time, not above the children of the throne or even close to it. This would be considered a grievous insult, a disrespect to the Land, the Forefathers, the Throne and to the people of the Land.
THE HISTORY BOOKS
But I digress, this is supposed to be about how Prince Harry and especially Duchess Meghan inspires and how they will for ages to come. As she and Prince Harry walk their way into the world’s history books forever and for all time.
Meghan Markle as an Actor on Suits, is how most Americans knew her. Jessica, Mike, Litt and Rachel (to use their acting name) were my personal “ish” on the show. Jessica for her ability to walk the fine line between tough B*tch and Mother of All. Mike for his brain, Rachel for her sass, loyalty and complicated relationships and Litt, very obviously for his social faux pas, but you knew, he always has his heart in the right place.
TO ROYALTY and INTERESTING DESCRIPTIONS
Then Meghan started dating Prince Harry and the world changed. Astonishingly, she was described in very ‘interesting terms’ to the American ears. Phrases like ‘straight outta Comptom’, “niggling feelings’, ‘wrong side of the tracks’, etc. This was really strange, because one has to really look into Meghan’s background to know she was mixed race – she looks rather Caucasian. Why mis-represent her and the city, she grew up in? Why these exact words and why would real journalists use such words and descriptions. It was telling that a real journalist would get such simple, easily checkable background information wrong. At which point, one has to just surmises that these journalists were deliberately being obtuse about her. It was awful. Prince Harry came out in her defense and one thought, this would blow over.
EYE ROLLS AT A WEDDING
The wedding was also very eye opening, despite the lovely and beautiful setup. The mood of the Royal Family in the church was frankly weird. The vibe was that they were there because they had to be and not because they were genuinely happy for their family member Prince Harry, who was getting married. There were, pursed lips, downcast eyes, disrespectful giggles, glances around, snickers and so on. Frankly, better behaviors have been observed in primary schools, by 6-year olds. Once again, as a spectator, it was very strange. I was frankly a bit embarrassed and shocked by some of the snickers, looks and faces being made. It seems both disrespectful and cringey, but surely…
And then, it seemed, in no time at all, All HELL BROKE LOOSE. It was a constant, relentless, frightening, sinister coordinated attack from EVERYWHERE and EVERYONE, escalating during her pregnancy (where pregnant women all over the world have always being held sacred). Then she had a baby that was likened to a chimp and REALLY, that was it. It had become just a tad too much. The attack was continuous and ominous. Throughout her work that included Smart Works, Mayhew, Grenfell, wonderful tours on behalf of the country. The venom was relentless, continuously cruel and frightening. It was hard to understand. Yet other members of the Royal Family were accorded forgiveness, help and aid with the exact same media. It was all confusing.
But through it all, what really endeared Meghan to me was her strength in all of these. She was the complete personification of herself before royalty, no changes to her. This is one of the aspects that was enchanting about her and what continues to endear her to women and others until today. The grace she exhibited under such intense, relentless, mental health-destroying attacks was phenomenal. Besides this, are other attributes she exhibited long before she got into a relationship with Prince Harry and married him. Attributes such as:
Bravery: Meghan was very brave throughout this entire episode in her life. Seeing her out and about doing her work despite all the mess being exhibited around her, was simply amazing. I do not believe that we would have understood the pressure of what she was going through, if the tabloids themselves, in trying to destroy her, did not put everything out there in the public eye. Over-analyzing and scrutinizing every single smile, neck tie fold and unfold (another shameful saga), clothing, polish, stomach movement, etc. The British Media in putting all of these things out in the newspaper with all of their side glances, sly smiles, speculations, innuendoes and lies, invited the audience into the discussions and the inevitable comparisons that showed quite clearly the double standards displayed. Meghan the Brave herself, said nothing for a long time.
Respectful: Meghan was also always respectful of others and herself. It did not matter whom she was talking to, or what she was doing. Meghan dealt respectfully with everyone and it was very easy to see in the way she interacted with people, adults and children. Her vivaciousness, hugs and smiles were a palpable balm that could be felt even just watching her. There was a warmth to her and that is not fakeable.
Independence and Strength: Meghan came across as an independent and strong woman, who had a mind of her own. Watching her chatting and speaking at one of the earlier meetings with the 3 younger Royals at a Royal Foundation forum, I was very impressed with her ability to hold her own. Not that I expected her to be intimidated, I was just pleasantly surprised she still held on to herself at those early meetings. After all, she was an adult with a lot of experience who had a lot to give. The fact that I even thought she would lose herself is interesting and needs to be examined. Why would I think she would have to lose her voice with this marriage in the first place? It seems unconsciously, I understood that, this was an expectation. And there is something wrong with that!
Generosity of Spirit: Meghan’s generosity of spirit was very visible in how she worked with others. She has always had a heart for helping others. She did a lot of volunteer, life affirming and changing work before she joined the Royal Family. A look at her history confirms that. She just had a different platform now for doing what she always did. This was a given. She was always looking for ways to help. To us, on the outside looking in, it was a perfect match.
Intelligence and Hard work: When I read about her sending emails at 5:00h in the morning, I laughed and admired her immensely because I could relate to that. In real life, sometimes, the answer comes to you at just a weird time and you have to deal with it. But once again, it was blown out of proportion and made out to be this character flaw. It was no flaw for me. Lots of women work hard and understand this. I have sent emails at all hours of the day and night for work. It does not mean I expect a response then. I have laughed with colleagues over such. It was nothing to be shamed for. I actually wondered more about the Royal Family than Meghan. Really no one before her has ever done this???
Self Worth: Meghan did all she could to handle a very difficult situation as gracefully as possible. The amount of dreadful information depicted in the news was incredulous but she was grace personified under pressure. She recognized that she was enough, and didn’t have to morph into anyone’s ideal, in order to be accepted. A view to be admired.
…Then it was over
Grace and Self Confidence: There was nothing clearer about the grace and pride in herself than her final days as a working royal. She showed up in all her dazzling colors, head up high, a spring in her steps, a sparkle in her eyes and the amazing confidence that we had not seen in a while. She was a woman saying, “I gave it my all and have no regrets”. She said goodbye, the ONLY way possible. With dignity, grace, strength and a whole lotta self-pride. It was the only way to go and once again impressed the hell out of the world.
I feel the UK lost something big, but maybe in their eyes, they lost nothing, because as I understand it, only certain stars can shine in the UK and the amount of light emitted by each individually in the firm, has been calculated. From that perspective, it is good she and Prince Harry are thriving very well elsewhere. May they be highly blessed and may they live well.
She was not born a Princess, but she exhibited in so many ways, how a Princess should behave, in every way and in every circumstance, in her short time there.
In America, QUEENS ARE MADE, not born. In so doing, American Queens appreciate their own because they worked for everything they have and own. They are NOT IN ANY WAY BEHOLDEN TO ANYONE and MOST DEFINITELY not to the village town criers. They do not lose their voice.
In the show Hamilton, Aaron Burr sings in “The World Was Wide Enough” that there was room enough for him and Alexander Hamilton to survive, live and make a difference. Unfortunately, he understood that fact too late. I fear that was a mistake was made in this story as well, as often happens when we do not listen to our past.
A pity for one country, a glorious win for the world.
Welcome Home, Prince Harry, Duchess Meghan and Archie… WELCOME HOME!!!