The Abuse of The Duchess of Sussex Part 4: So What Happens Now? Modernise or Wither Under “Tradition”?

The Abuse of The Duchess of Sussex Part 4: So What Happens Now?
  • Photo by Mark Cuthbert/UK Press via Getty Images

So What Happens Now? Modernise or Wither Under “Tradition”? As we’ve documented the abuse that Sussexes, particularly Meghan has suffered at the hands of the British media and factions of the royal family, the underlying reasons are varied. What is undeniable however, is that there was a clear resentment of her can-do, hands on and results-oriented approach to charity work. Her approach suited her husband’s well, as he’s also very involved in his projects and looks to effect real change. Together, their impact was undeniable and rightly garnered global attention.

Royal Patronages are given out by the Queen to members of her family, not based on any business-like criteria, but as she deems fit. On the odd occasion there may be a particular interest of the person bestowed with a particular Patronage. Historically, the royal patrons have been figureheads for their Patronages, and they visit from time to time. Visits to these establishments are counted in the Court Circular along with other appearances, and the tallies give an indication of the royals’ workload. For example, the Queen has over 600 Patronages, collected over decades. With such a load, who can be anything but a figurehead for these charities?

There is limited evidence of added value for those charities which have the word Royal in their title, as a fundraising incentive over those without the word Royal in their Title. Overall, research carried out in the past suggested that most donors are driven by personal connection to a cause. Patronages are measured in what is known as a Charity Brand Index. This Index, monitors awareness, trust and likelihood of donations. Collectively the Queen’s 600 patronages have a donated income of approximately £1.5 million. No idea if these figures are verified for accuracy, but it seems that has never been regarded as important.

The Royal family is left with an outdated business model, and one with levels of seniority based on order of birth. The adults in that structure, have no business experience, and never had any aspiration to gain any. The process has always been that they were each entitled to their positions and that people around them would cater to their every need.

As far as projects go, I doubt there was any emphasis placed on outcomes. It has all been about launching things with lots of fanfare, and usually not a good chance of success either because there was no real implementation plan that would ensure achievement of set goals. In some cases, the ideas while they sound interesting and even laudable are not suitable for the kind of project or campaign that was launched. That speaks to a certain laxity in approach, that one cannot get away with in the real world, where programmes are accountable to donors. Further, the alliance with the Royal Rota group either by design or by evolution, ensures that the reporting is all fluffy with little to no substance. To be fair, a notable exception is the Prince of Wales’ Prince’s Trust that has done remarkably well in terms of sustainability and impact.

Imagine then, the response of the Royal family to the addition of Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex, and the way the Sussexes work on their projects and Patronages. With clear outcomes, measurable activities and products, projects sustainability beyond the initial launch, all of the projects undertaken by the Sussexes are successes. The Together Cookbook alone has raised a third of what was collectively attributed to the Queen’s 600 patronages, per Charity Brand Index.

A look at the 2018 audited report of the Royal Foundation, when it was jointly patronised by the dukes and duchesses of Cambridge and Sussex, reveals the pitfalls of the surface approach to charity work. There seemed to be a lot of creative accounting, where funds raised for profitable initiatives were siphoned to new projects, that were just money drainers. Most of the solvent initiatives were those of the Sussexes. The foundation’s cash reserves were not impressive as a result. It is thought that this fundamental difference in philosophy/approach informed the split of the foundation. Apart from being a bad way of doing business, the target audience deserve a proper shot at some real change, especially with the kind of money being spent.

Once the order was in to dim their shine, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex never had a fair shake from the media when it came to reporting on the initiatives. It didn’t matter how impressive or successful, they were always guaranteed to focus on tangential nonsense that could be sensationalised. It’s how the visit to one25 charity became about bananas and vulgarity, how their visit to the Number 7 Café in Birkenhead became about “Harry Krishna”, because Harry talked about meditation with one of the patrons and how the Hubb Community Kitchen project became about terrorists. It never fails. They even went as far as crediting the success of the Smart Set collection to Kate Middleton. Don’t ask me why or how. That’s royal reporting for you. I can count on one hand the number of journalist who fielded thorough and comprehensive reports, that appropriately shone the light on the causes and the work that was being done.

It probably became very clear to the Sussexes that they were being restricted in the way that they wanted to operate, and that they were not comfortable operating in this chaotic pretend project work with patronages. The Firm was not a functional or successful in that sense, without much accountability. Mostly ego driven individuals masquerading as diplomats, and the rest of them, quietly enjoying all the grace and favour being born into that family brings.

Just like Brexit, with the arrival of the Duchess of Sussex onto the scene in the UK, the hostile environment grew for a wide range of people who were deemed not welcome in the UK. Now, Brexit has happened and seen the exodus of a lot of professionals who faced uncertain futures in the UK, and, the Sussex family have also left the hostile environment. The Royal family, like the rest of the UK will now have to operate without the benefit of the skills and experience of people that could have contributed to their long term growth.

Economically there is going to be a huge shift. There is a chance that the country will eventually find a level at which it can operate without alienating itself any further. I am afraid for the monarchy though, as the writing is on the wall. The Firm is not open to new blood and expertise, but prefer to stay in the safe haven of the gene pool and to couple with other relatives, and keep it all in the family. No new skills or experiences. No one to rock the boat. No real world perspective. At least that is the impression they give.

Their actions however tell a different story. It is obvious that the royal family recognise the qualities in the Sussexes that endears them to so many, be it in their work or social interactions. While their media cronies have steadily lambasted the Sussexes for all of these things and more, like a sick joke, we are seeing before our very eyes an attempt to model the ‘beloved regal and protocol observing royals’ after the so-called rebel royals. The endless attempts to create warm moments that end up looking forced and awkward, are peppered with the unmistakable photo-ops with people of colour because why not? They’re inclusive right? Wrong.

It is no longer taboo for royal women to wear trouser suits to engagements or for royals post black and white pictures on social media, neither is it attention-seeking to create detailed and informative captions on Instagram. Who knew? The protocol gods have finally relented! But this act, is just that. It will take more than imitation to get and sustain the attention that is so coveted. At least on the scale that is being sought.

The copy will lose its temporary lustre compared to the now unrestricted original. If the royal family is really interested in charity work, then they have to learn and take the time to do it in an impactful way. It’s the only way to get the acclaim they want outside of their royal bubble because, calling something prestigious doesn’t make it so; the body of work and reputation confer that honour. Unlike their titles, that has to be earned. It remains to be seen whether they will stick with perfunctory activities which really aren’t legacy building or they will dig a little deeper.

In any case, if the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s year and half exploits within the restrictions of the royal family are any indication of what is to come, there is no doubt they will be a phenomenon for good on the world stage. If there is a silver lining to this dark cloud of abuse, it is that The Sussexes can now pursue charitable endeavours unhindered by prickly egos. There is so much need and there’s a lot of good that this humanitarian couple can do. Goodness will always triumph over evil. Harry and Meghan, you are loved and your supporters have your back. Go and take the world by storm.

Research Articles:
Emotional abuse involves exposing a person to behaviour or language, through verbal speech based harassment, that can result in psychological trauma. Dependant on the circumstances, the victim may be able to sue for damages. Source

Coercive control is an act of pattern of acts of assault, threats, harassment and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim. Coercive control creates invisible chains and a sense of fear that pervades all elements of a victim’s life. Source: > information-support > what is domestic abuse.

Canada. National Clearinghouse on Family Violence. Psychological Abuse: A Discussion Paper. Prepared by Deborah Doherty and Dorothy Berglund. Ottawa: Public Health Agency of Canada, 2008. ISBN 978-0-662-48994-8 Cat.: HP20-12/2008E

Fisher, Judith. “Healing Beyond Emotional Abuse” (2019).Lake Union Herald. 841.

(This book showed up in many different searches that I made for reference material, and was recommended by a number of people. It may be of interest to some of the readers).


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23 comments on “The Abuse of The Duchess of Sussex Part 4: So What Happens Now? Modernise or Wither Under “Tradition”?

  1. Triny Mitchell

    I have no words. Each and every article in this series was very well written and right on point!

    You asked if the Royal family would prosper by modernizing or with her by sticking to tradition. It’s very obvious that they will wither. It is the cold, unfeeling and dying institution filled with people that are spiritually, morally and psychologically dead inside.

    Princess Diana thought her influence and passion for service to the people would have an impact on her sons so that the monarchy could change for the better. While her deeds of humanity stayed with one son, her lessons were/are lost on the other.

    #SussexIndependenceDay is upon us! It has already come for some in other parts of the world. For me…in less than 6 hrs. Harry in Meghan, You know your heart and you know what’s best for your family. Continuing doing YOU, kicking ass and making sure the rest are bewildered and choking in your dust.

  2. Catherine

    Wow. I just managed to get caught on on the installments. Bravo!!!!!! What incredible work. The talent, skill and professionalism in the squad is so amazing. It was incredible to see it all laid out in one collective piece. It still sickens me. The depths that the media and the royal family sunk to. If Meghan‘s story were a book or a movie I would say no that could never happen. Not all of that. Not to one person. It will be interesting to see how things go now that so many people are paying attention to how Meghan and Harry are covered/treated.

  3. Joyce B.

    I’ve read each of your articles twice and enjoyed them more each time. They are inciteful, and well written. The royal family will “wither under tradition” rather than modernize. They believe being royal is their god given right, instead of a privilege. As long as they believe royal is synonymous with superior they will never be humble enough to change. As stated in Proverbs “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” I believe things will unravel upon the passing of the Queen.

  4. Emmanuella

    Sometimes I wonder who the advisers for the royal family are? You wouldn’t need a crystal ball to tell you that the sussexes are essential in that monarchy and to the commonwealth, try as they might the royal family can’t DUPLIKATE the warmth, interaction and work ethic of the sussexes why? Because they’ve all grown up without ever having to work for a living bar Harry who founded sentabale and invictus. Their idea of work involves turning up to charities and cutting ribbons, smiling like hyenas for photos and going back home. But Meghan actually had to work, plus the fact that she’s humanitarian at heart because she relates to these people. It’s fun trying to watch the royal family trying to modernize now that they’re gone and failing btw because right now they appeal to over 45’s. I will always support the sussexes in what ever they do, ready to support their causes, I wish them well and a life filled with happiness, wealth, good health and more babies ( twins) lol. And I’m forever happy that Meghan didn’t choose to suck it up and she and Harry stood up for themselves. Viva la revolution!.

  5. Kimberly Ramsey

    Excellent series of essays that lays out blatant character assassination of a good woman, a good man, and their innocent newborn son. Harry and Meghan’s messages to the charities and causes they embraced have in common the pursuit of justice and inclusiveness, thus by “stepping back” they are walking their talk. Well done. Thank you for the insightful analyses.

  6. Rose

    Great series.

    Sentebale, Invictus games, Endeavour fund, Together, our community cookbook, Smart set, Etc. real tangible impact. But you also can’t underestimate the impact of the pantsuit on the RF. I don’t think Meghan’s ambitions ever run to modernizing the RF. as many have claimed, but she inadvertently did it by wearing a pantsuit, and pants in general. Now instead of all those so proper coat dresses, there is pantsuits and pants for everybody, yeeh!

    1. Cathy

      you are very right. I have also seen boatnecks and a camel coloured coat, not to mention badky copied hairstyles.

  7. Karen Manie

    Thank you for the article. Before Meghan I thought the Royal family was irrelevant. I thought she brought back some relevance where they are concerned. The ugliness from the British media was very clear. Now I do not click on articles about the royal family as they have no relevance for me. I wish Harry and Meghan the very best and look forward to seeing what they will accomplish and make the world a better place.

  8. Ivy Barrow

    I cannot thank you all enough for these wonderful and encouraging comments. I came on here to see if any more comments had been left since I last checked this morning, and I was blown away. More have also been added to Parts 1-3 over the last few days too. Tonight you all made my eyes leak. I support this couple, like you all do, and I just write from my heart. I am so moved that you could see what I was trying to say in an objective fact based way. The Sussexes deserve everything that makes him happy for what has been done to and across them. Lots more for supporters to do, and we are ready for it. I have just posted a long thread thanking everyone for their input on my Twitter page, and I think it will appear on the Meghanpedia page too. I have much more activity planned. Watch this space. Thank and love everyone of you for taking the time to write your comments. I love the Squad.

  9. Mich

    Your series is a great launching pin for an in-depth documentary on this couple. You’ve hit the salient points that both impacted directly and indirectly on driving Harry and Meghan out. I too expect to see them soar unfettered by the weight of the Firm. And the UK media will be noise as the couple work outside of the country.

  10. Joyce

    Thank you for a very well documented analysis of the media and the royal family behaviours towards H &M. The Sussexes have been a victim of their work ethics which has put others to shame. They’re being used to cover the nonsense going on behind the scenes in the households, the family has been envious of the Sussexes and want to dim their lights but unfortunately it will not happen. The Sussexes have made history and will continue to make history contrary to what the so called RR say because they know no one in the family can match the Sussexes. The copy cats can only try, one thing for sure is that the Sussexes have shown the left behind how to do it but they will always be playing catch-up. You can’t buy or copy charisma & authenticity,we are here watching how it will all unfold. The Sussexes are a cut above the rest for sure,the others will continue to play catch-up without a doubt.

  11. Airat

    Wow! Well done,Ivy. I didn’t imagine part 4! More illuminating. I heard the Duke and Duchess are getting many offers.nd March has not even ended. I salute you for these pieces and we await many remarkable ventures that will come from the stables of Harry and Meghan. Their names,without the titles are powerful enough!

  12. Gladys

    Marjorie Ireland, its indeed so their love, their work ethic & empathy is a legacy, but again we won’t forget the harsh, nasty treatment from the BRF & their acolytes the British press.


    Bravo encore à Ivy pour ces quatre articles. Ce fut in véritable regal. Comme les commentatrices précédentes ,je les (les quatre articles) ai lus plusieurs fois tellement ils étaient denses, et foisonnaient d’informations, mais surtout de belles phrases-chocs, percutantes et mémorables. Vous avez le sens de la formule bien faites. En tout cas Bravo!!!. Il n’y a rien d’autres à ajouter après ce brilliant exposé.
    Quelques phrases à retenir:
    1. The adults in that structure, have no business experience, and never had any aspiration to gain any. (c’est tellement vrai!)
    2.Mostly ego driven individuals masquerading as diplomats, and the rest of them, quietly enjoying all the grace and favour being born into that family brings.
    3.The protocol gods have finally relented! But this act, is just that. It will take more than imitation to get and sustain the attention that is so coveted. (Franchement, les fameux experts en protocole…
    4. like a sick joke, we are seeing before our very eyes an attempt to model the ‘beloved regal and protocol observing royals’ after the so-called rebel royals: Comme illustration: (Katerine Middleton était justement habillée dans un pantalon-tailleur de couleur orange/fushia pour aller soutenir les agents de la santé. Malheureusement, le tailleur ne lui allait pas. Aucune féminité, aucune rondeur. Dressée comme un arbre… Marchant robotiquement. Il faut un peu de swag, il faut de l’allure, du chic, un peu de malin…
    5. The copy will lose its temporary lustre compared to the now unrestricted original.

    6.The Sussexes can now pursue charitable endeavours unhindered by prickly egos.

    En tout cas , bravoi ma chère Ivy! Vous avez beaucoup bossé. Reposez-vous les meninges. Aux prochains articles.

  14. Maureen Thompson

    Thanks again for an inciteful spot on account /thesis of the trials of our beloved Duchess of Sussex at the hands of (but not exclusively) the BRF
    and their vile royal rota/rogue accomplices.

    For starters the Duchess of Sussex is a born humanitarian and activist who successfully challenged the status quo on misogyny and sexism at the tender age of 11′ She also fed the homeless and was involved in other voluntary mercy projects with her mother Doria Ragland in LA as a child.
    So when she joined the BRF it was business as usual.As a matter of fact as Prince Harry’s fiance she hit the ground running and used to sneak out incognito to visit the women of Grenfell Towers disaster without fanfare, because that is who she is a hard working,results-oriented humanitarian without a fickle,fake bone in her beautiful body.
    That was the genesis of many other successful charity projects in Great Britain that mushroomed and flourished during her brief tenure as a Senior Royal.

    Then too Meghan Duchess of Sussex was one of the most accomplished non Royals to join the BRF in living memory. She was indeed, the jewel in the Crown! She came with an encyclopedia of accomplishments,as Pryanka Chopra her bff stated after she read the Vanity Fair article,Meghan was a whole lot more than just Prince Harry’s girlfriend turned fiancee.
    A self made millionaire,linguist,successful actress,professional calligrapher, University scholar, writer,motivational speaker, UN activist and ambassador, World Vision ambassador, one of the most successful bloggers in history with millions of followers on the Tig, and all these amazing feats at such a tender age of 33! Small wionder the BRF could not wrap their archaic reactionary minds around this amazing young woman of colour and her awesome accomplishments. Her hands on approach and dedication to her causes and public acclaim in such a brief period was too much for these starchy stiff upper lipped Royals to handle, so they sought to dim her light, and were evidently complicit in the tsunami of media abuse primarily targeted at the Duchess and her newborn son Archie.

    But this unstoppable self assured young woman decided that enough is enough and shook the very foundation’s of the monarchy when she and courageous Prnce Harry decided that they were stepping back from their Royal duties as senior Royals primarily due to the tidal wave of abuse, and literal death threats that these young Royals endured .This intense period of scrutiny and torture was taking a serious toll on their mental health. So the first signal of their stepping back came on the South African tour where Prince Harry reiterated that he was no longer going to play” the game with the media that killed his mother ” and indicated he was going to protect his family with his life!
    On March 31st they cease to be senior Royals (although still members of BRF) and have chosen the idyllic Vancouver island to start their next chapter of an impactful, exciting career on the world stage.
    Godspeed to the Sussexes and much love to the undisputed DUCHESS OF SUCCESS!

    1. Gladys

      Maureen Thompson, well said & so true of the world stage that now they’ll be operating on👍👍👌👌😊😊

    2. Christine

      It’s so nice to read an article that gives the truth about what really happened to make the Sussexes want to leave.
      Also it’s very refreshing to read such positive comments about the Duchess, which I absolutely agree with. She had her own charities and was a philanthropist way before she met Harry. I always felt that this was a big part of what they had in common.

  15. Madeleine

    In my opinion she did her utmost. She worked her ass off in the short period of time she was in the RF. Even when she was on maternity leave. From the get go The Duchess of Sussex never stood a chance. I have read about the racism, sexism and there are people who are downright misogynist, thrown at her for years, mostly for the exact same things other royals also did. I think the breakingpoint was when Archie was compared to a chimpanzee by Danny Baker 2 days after his birth. Yes he was fired, but also re-instated after a few months.

    The majority of reasonably minded people would agree that there’s no justification, no worthy excuse and such a comparison barely dignifies a response, but the lack of response cut deeply for a broad cross-section of society as it must have for the Duke and Duchess. Certain people try to pinpoint everything on Meghan. She is the villain, Harry her helpless victim. She must have love bombed him. Oh puhleeeeze like he couldn’t stand on his own two feet before she came on the scene.

    After his army career was over he wanted out, the Queen persued him to stay. The Duke and Duchess are the jewel in the Crown, without them off course they will manage, but interest will drop sharply. A lot of people took interest in the Royal Family when Meghan enter the scene. They felt they had with her a seat at the table. It is a darn shame.

    I have to add: there must be more, much more then we know off, because lets be honest why would someone care what rags like the Daily Useless or haters and trolls have to say about you. They are a bunch of strangers who don’t really know them. They just based their opinions on some footage, photo’s, or leaks from palace aids or staff and rags write a hitpiece with a negative narrative. According to Kevin Maguire The Duke and Duchess seems to be very angry with the Royal Family and that the public, tabloids and other naysayers would be more understandable about their decision, but he couldn’t reveal it due to legal reasons. GMB January 15th 5.05 min (Will Meghan Markle face her father in court). That was very interesting to hear.


    Indeed they are adored,loved, respected and appreciated all over the world👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  17. Deborah Fraser

    Bravo and a fantastic compilation of this article. I enjoyed all 4 segments of it. I have re-read the first 3 segments several times and each time I was impressed and move by your written article Ivy. It’s filled with credible observation that was supported by authentic research material. In doing so you have nullified the propaganda and at the same time what a fair and true journalistic material should be. Brilliant written work. I can guarantee you that the 4th segment will be read multiple times. I hereby thank you for this brilliant article. God bless and keep on writing. Your gift by God needs to be seen. Ms. Ivy Barrow you have put the Rabid Rodents to shame. I thank you.♥️🙏

  18. Marjorie Ireland

    I read all 4. Brilliant, insightful and factual! I too have noticed the sudden photo ops featuring people of color and I am sickened by that sort of Hypocrisy! HRH Prince Harry and his inimitable wife HRH Duchess Meghan,will not be, as some so called “Royal Reporter ” put it “Just a footnote in the history books.” No, Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan will define our History for generations to come! Their Love story will be told throughout the annals for history. Their Impact will be felt for generations. They will be written about, films will be made about them & theirs is a legacy that will forever endure! Thank you for your articles!!!!

  19. Claudia Barnswell

    The read was great, and 100% factual. Harry and Meghan have done absolutely nothing wrong, and are being bullied and abused for it, especially Meghan. But this just brings to mind what Jesus said…Marvel not when the world hates you without a cause. For it first hated me! I believe a change is coming, and as far as I can see, the BRF, the UK media, all the trolls and racist haters will find themselves on the wrong side of history. #WeStandWithHarryAndMeghan!

  20. Gladys

    Read, re-read & loved all the four parts & to tell you the truth although i feel so sad about the treatment of the Sussexes, on the other hand so many feel joy that the hate & the villification is not because this couple has done abominable things or disrespected the Mornarch, BUT, the opposite, their virtuous deeds, empathy for the communities has won them admirations from many around the world but so sad envy, jealousy & hate from both their families, the British Media & the royal gossipers, which is a shame to all of the people who have caused this enomous mental pain, its also good that the world has come to know the rottenness of both the Royal Family & the British press. By the way loved – Prickly egos😂 protocal gods👎

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